Dr. Whitney Kazars, a pediatrician in Portland, offers strategies for parents to be more effective in discussing body image with their children. When a child comes home from school expressing dissatisfaction with their appearance, parents should instead of providing immediate reassurance, create a space for expressing feelings.
Creating a Space for Conversation
Kazars suggests that parents should first listen to the child's feelings and validate them. She says: "The goal is for children to feel heard and to actually keep the door open for conversation." This approach helps parents avoid negative judgments about the child and allows them to express their feelings freely.
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Exploring the Causes of Concerns
Children may feel dissatisfied with their bodies due to comments from peers or environmental influences. Parents should ask the child to explain what has caused these feelings. This can help the child gain a better understanding of the situation and examine any misconceptions.
Dr. Charlotte Markey, a psychology professor at Rutgers University, also emphasizes the importance of parents' correct responses. She says: "It's a good sign if your child comes to you with a question." This indicates the child's trust in their parents and can help foster more conversations.
Validating Feelings Without Judgment
Validating a child's feelings should not mean agreeing with their negative judgments. Markey suggests methods that can help parents validate the child's feelings without endorsing their negative judgments. This can assist the child in processing their emotions and keep them away from misconceptions.
Handling Difficult Questions
When a child asks questions like "Am I fat?", parents should avoid immediate responses and instead discuss what that word means to the child. This conversation can help the child gain a better understanding of physical differences and feel that they do not need to change their appearance.
Being Mindful of Media Content
Parents should be sensitive to the media content that children are exposed to. If your child is viewing unrealistic content, instead of stopping it, ask them to show you what they are seeing. This can help parents understand what is important to the child and how they can engage in discussions about it.
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